seethingly misanthropic (for the moment)

i want to complain. but it's complicated because i might get busted. I want to complain about _________. it's not _____ fault. they are simply much more _______than my _______ and my _______ is _________ than the one before (even though that_______ seemed to have some astonishly unenlightened ideas about ______.. egh.) but i think even the most under_______ of them weren't near as ________ as ________. All those _________ _______s, those ________ _______. and the _______! how ___!!
geez!

actually this is helping.
I just feel so keenly these past few days like I am so fucking rarified in my concerns that there might not be any place left to really engage with people that isn't tainted by ______ and _______ and concerns about ________size.
i don't even want to share anymore because _______ _______ _______ period. but if i don't what can i do? just shop?

i'd also like to complain about not being ________ to after all that time by ______ AND then there's_________. I mean, GAWD!! it was really embarassing that my _______ was ________at_____. i have _________r than that. i wanted to leave the room knocking over all the _______ and the ________ly ______. that would have felt great. oh, the bondage of etiquette..

then though, _______was nice. and my house is quiet but pretty and the fire i'm sitting next to is nice even if i'm over-contributing particulates into the atmosphere.

what bothers me most is that i can't recollect __________, that if I admit it, I've lost ______, that sense of sense and innocence that WAS, was true and good, and our birthright. but it's as if it has long since (i remember the day it did) drifted over the backyard fence, rose up, vanished and just sailed away. it is probably fallen to some dewy field since and choked some small, grazing animal somewhere.

i am in a stinky mood, but because i feel that with my lack of _______, I, along with the rest, have betrayed ______the very heart of it without (at least enough of) a fight. but perhaps us worse, because we HAD it, KNEW it once.
(I am thinking of a Ray Bradbury story where everytime someone has a thought, the government, or somesuch, blasted loud music into the heads of the men and women struggling to think, to recollect and pull themselves together until they simply had no idea what they'd felt or wanted to say and so said nothing). In one way or another, this is all about that. Our collective 20-30 year slowmotionpaymentplanlobotomy. How _______ and _______ how alarmingly near to ________we are- all of us. Stunning we can even keep up the pretense, such a thin veil of _______.

_________, don't you think?

i just want to remember what i'm missing, because i sure am missing it.
i'm glad i can at least be so very clear about it because i am so much more _______ than ________. Which, I'm afraid, is also lie.