In the hospital, in the last hours.
Me: "Gary, are we boring you?"
Gary (through his ventilator): "A little bit."
Also: "Gary, they found the God Particle!"
The hand that hadn't moved all day raises and waves in tired joy.
I loved Gary all along but was taken a bit by surprise by the depth of it, by the utterly profound depth of him. I can't imagine I will ever know a more brave human being. Just grace and humor, such utter absence of bitterness or self-pity in the wicked progression of ALS (and, of course, losing his husband). The rooms where they both died in Kaiser were separated by the exact same wall. And one year. Theirs - the greatest relationship I've ever known. I will miss him/ both of them - so. I will strive all my life to be courageous like Gary was every day. A huge loss. A beloved book closes.
