change the bulb!

Dimos has given me a studio in Greece. It is one of several apartments at first - painted over and painted over, white on white (like our apartment in Hell's Kitchen where clearly several times people had chosen to just paint over the lightbulb instead of taking it out: - the laziness!! - do it right, for Christ's sake...). While I was waiting to be noticed by someone I was painting in big thick color on the side of a couch and daubing it with my skirt. But then, when I was being shown around by a big Greek sculptor in overalls, I saw that there was a lot of rooms I could choose between. One - recommended by Dimos. A fantasic amount of space. And if I moved a few ladders and things - a corner that I could make into a little apartment. Dimos was busy doing something. Still sweet, no English, busy. Then the delivery came and he was overseeing it. He'd been shopping and bought me canvases and pencils, jars of linseed oil and turpentine, colors and t-squares, pencils, paper, charcoal, mason jars, brushes of every shape and size.... I was totally set up.

I was told by the sculptor, after inquiring, that there were only a hundred rats in the whole building and I was unlikely to run into one. I had also been told, by a friend in the earlier part of the dream that my mother was dying and could go at any time. She was there, unaware of her condition, as we walked around the space - now even larger with a road/parking lot through it and many great white panels so I could work on many big pieces at once.

Then Maria (also of Greece) walked us around the place some more. I could see the huge SPARKLING sea. The studio was underneath and described by a giant freeway overpass. It was in Athens. I would have to stay for the year at least. Abandon my job. (But I'm scheduled to teach eight classes, I worried).

I'm feeling bored with this entry so will stop. But maybe it (and certainly the studio gift) is from watching "The Notebook" last night. The mother, who had not followed her love and became a rich, crusty bitch, telling her daughter "I hope you make the right decision." But at the end I was asking Maria if I couldn't just come next summer, so as not to have to bail on my jobs, etc. To have both, as I always want. Or, because I was feeling like a chicken about totally committing to my creative life, whatever it could be.

So, I guess a little overwhelm right now that my energy is going towards responsibilities and not to my art, my loves. Not enough. I woke with the question unsolved.

Dunno.
Gotta get to work on a boring ol website. (not mine which really needs attention!!) hmm.
Perhaps just a caution to quit choosing by not choosing - the dream theme of the week.
I should probably pay attention.