Slimed!

Okay, so in the middle of a Huffington Post article on pending massive layoffs of teachers, firefighters, policemen, etc is a warm-toned ad of a beautiful, kind-of vaguely post-porn looking girl with a news-flash announcement about a fresh, fun kind of auction that can get any idiot (that would be me) an iPad (in this case I was wanting a camera) for pennies on the price in a new penny auction. Click to get to a tri-state evening news report that makes the site look legit, fun, (if potentially addictive) blahblah. Click something else and you have four minutes to sign up. All looks good. money back guarantees, yeah. seen on every tv show in the universe, endorsed by ...or at least all these big logos are there... three minutes to enter your zip code, password, next page: two minutes to enter card info. (Where was that little pop-up?) right over the part where they rip me off in a non-refundable way? Almost surely.

Once in, (oh this is too boring to even write about). Anyway - an experience of manic, yes-addictive, high-speed, multi-bet pure gambling greed! did i win? did I win?? ooh, whose that asshole that wants my Walmart card?? "Spiffy"? - oh, please!! bid bid bid. just a penny a click. so no big deal. but you work have to play to win bids so you can bid more. big items require you to attach a 1000 bid contribution to your bid, which vanishes, apparently, if someone gets your item first.

If no one else bids in the last ten seconds, the item is yours. 4.3.2.1. Winner!! "Goodlala saved 89%" woohoo! (of course you win quickly so you think it's all possible...but you only seem to win bids). "Spiffy" or "Hothands" is always there bidding - and you can see that they've won 32,547 times and the icon that represents them is three little fires, whereas you of six wins is represented by one little happy face. If they bid before the ten seconds are up, the clock resets to ten seconds and in this way goes by all those awkward days, nights and months of double-dip recession unemployment (without health insurance).

So, I checked my account. huh??? $150 gone!. Wha...? Turns out the floating "you have three minutes" (god, I'm an IDIOT!) pop-up button was over the part where you are buying a membership (NO mention of that anywhere else) and that that membership gives you 300 "bonus" bids at 50c a piece. Deducted. The money back guarantee, I'm told by the 'chat' girl is always honored. "Your experience is important to us." Uh huh. All I have to do is play everyday and NOT have WON in 30 days. Of course, I have already won. And LOST.

The company: Swipebid says they are in Utah, but are apparently in Canada. Shame on the News Reporters and the Huffington Post and all us greedy, bullshit consumers out there.

I don't even WANT an IPad. I just don't want 'Spiffy" to get it instead of me.

I need a lawyer and a confessional.

I've been doing much better in my recent aims to de-digitize (at least some). But I feel like I've let the devil lick my face (and steal my wallet).

Bad Lala! no iPad!