love

Woke up without them, still hearing their laughter, still feeling little Juliet's sweet hands. 

"no one has such small hands. not even the rain."

I will miss them terribly, will try not to cry over the flour on the kitchen floor, the colored pens everywhere, the left little tiny nightgown. Shoot. Mmm. Ouch. And so it goes with love....


started earlier.  carrying on:


We couldn't have had a better time.  Were all over California "like a cheap suit".  a 'kick in the pants".
Notes.  Strawberry.  Tahoe.  Fireworks.  almost bad bicycle incident. No sleep.  Okay.  
Sidewalk skating.  Mystery.  
San Juan Bautista (pictured above).  The mission.  Pedro the goat.  Monterey.  The m y s t i c a l, electric jellyfish.  The hyperactive spectacular breath-taking octupus.  (god-damn!!)  Carmel.  The French Restaurant.  Wallace and Grommit.  Big Sur.  Nana.  The Magritte Watering Can.  Carmel.  Picnic with The Terrorist Squirrel.  The Beach.  The other french evening - lovely and complicated.   Dark beach.  Night out. Mom's dress.  Village Corner.  Photographs.  That sand.  Starting school.  


Jeff J and Risk.  World Domination 1.  Checkpoint. "Where are you going?"  "Um..."  Some forgotten details.  
Drive-in.  
Lemon Day (see below).  nice peeps from Oregon. 
McKinley Park pool.  
Liverpool Rummy.  
Madame Tuli!!  Fortunes. thinking about doing "Our Town".  Them: w/ Gigi.  
Women's Soccer at Rhino's.  
Dragon Feather on the phone!!  "She ruined my life.  She hit me on the head with a brick!. "  ( I love Dragon!!) (amazing occupation of/creation of a full human being. (nts: related to my confession of my weird 'hitting myself with a brick??' - who knows)  Them - to Gary's, Theresa.  "Buck"


Prairie Creek. (bench cushions) car Packed. dog drop off.  Banff application in Redding.  switching car occupants at every stop.  Fastass driving.  The devastation of campsite 76.  in the open field.  ugh.   for 4 days? really?  but!  Stars, stars, stars.  them with flashlight around their tent.  goodnight goodnight. oh beauty. morning.  Big Tree hike.  great tree scampering/climibing.  Juliet and her animal imiatations.  hair/ hammerheadshark. hilarious camp check.  moving.  spot 21 - Spectacular!! Vetter's there first!  no way no way.  glaring. oh. foo.  bike rides.  moved to buggy, two-tiered spot.  Parchesi.  Juliet lost for a minute!  too much food.  rain/mist.  fire. morning: waking to 'elk by the restrooms'.  ugh okay okay.  holy fuck: Elk -- by the restrooms!!: H U G E.   gorgeous.  Natty walking between them.  menacing.  spectacular.  quiet.  then more moving.  I don't know.  oh.  poohsticks! front end of Irvine trail.  My favorite place in the world.  Utterly mystical, real and calming.  Tootootoo beautiful.  then moving.  somewhere in there the mountain bike trail: most fun I think I have EVER had.   ...(note 2 self: get mountain bike. go ALL the time).  damn.  okay. Natty telling me about her novel. yeah then moving again to other spot, is that right?  Fern Canyon.  hike back.  Juliet apple. Mme Tuli. Running ahead.  So lithe and bright.  so much like her mum.  Fallen tree crossing.  great adventure.  Reinhard's fallen tree story.  At end.. Oops 1 mile more back to camp. Girls: awesome good sports.
Somewhere in there: drive to town.  Elk radio.  Quesadilla dinner then the burning marshmellow experiment.  What is that shit made of?  Fire kept re-ignighting many times. Final day.  More bike-riding.  Packing.  Klamath river.  GORGEOUS grey whale.  (just today 8/16) learned she died.  Very sad about it.  That was the most spectacular moment perhaps of my life - looking down not forty feet onto her.  purple/blue.  Magnificent.  Natalie literally caught me as my knees actually buckled as I saw her.  


  
will add to this later.


Napa.  Calistoga.  Great old place with shared bathrooms that reminded me of old house and Vermont.  love that vintage!
Girls to my restaurant at the school.

Hot tub and photos

Back yard fire pit
Folsom: Joel and little Joel.  very sweet.  water perfect.
Godot?
Yosemite : The bear!!  The tough hike, the falls, my wedding spot, the starving dear. the falls... last light
That milky way!  stars never EVER ever better - not even in Texas when I was six.  crusty, breaking up glorioius shooting star.  Monster trafic jam.
More hot tub
Miniature Golf/Norway House.
Great, hilarious  talk about crushes.
Karaeoke and painting at studio
Penryn.  Pool with Mme Tuli, Dragon and Mme Blue Eye.
Me: swarmed and bitbitbitbit... by hornets, almost knocked myself out on a fence.  Totally disorienting and owie!

Huckleberry Finn

Blackberry picking....
Pie making
Evening being Southern and cookin'  - too much fun.
The Yuba  (awesome underwater caverns!)-and,  the watersnake. not a big deal.
water was heavenly
Risk 2 - my second world domination!  righteous!!




must go run now, burn off a marshmellow or two.
yeah. additions later. - although these fast, scrappy notes do nothing to capture the moments.


How amazingly rich and satisfying and easy and full of love and big wild animals and adventure!!!  it all was.
California is heaven on earth.  And now... well.  very very quiet.
(unfortunate news about Rick... shoot.  life... )


anyway. off.  more details later.