was at the end of the back hallway, where the ghosts were, (bravely) trying to fully sense if they were still there. In truth, i didn't give it enough time to know. Or, I felt something (as I almost always felt I did) and I went past it/them to open the windows in the back room. as I came towards the front of the house passing quickly through it/them again, I could tell there was activity below. I could hear the t.v., maybe some talking. I remembered how the bottom floor of the house had been so different from the creepy second floor - beautiful and full of life - and nature... how it's walls sort of vanished out into the long sloping lawn and secret gardens. I was very excited to be there again. As I went downstairs I saw my sister and someone else I can't identify (margaret?). My sister was just waking up in front of a huge t.v. screen. Miraculously, she had come back to life. But she was already drinking, obviously - waking up disoriented and oblivious at eight in the evening. It was inevitable she would die again.
I didn't make it further into that beautiful floor. I stood by the girls yellow slickers hanging where they were left.
4 comments:
I've read that post five different times now. I apologize that I cannot help but recall the first house I lived in as a child. I hated it when we moved, even though it was only 2 miles away. The new house, and my parents still live in it, has never really felt like home to me. I know that has nothing to do with what you wrote but it put those memories in my head.
Those yellow slickers make me anxious and sad.
Thank you for sharing that post.
you're sweet for writing, for taking the time.
i hope you don't feel obliged...
and i agree - home is such an elusive thing - there's much to say and feel about it but i think i know what you mean. i cried and cried and cried when my father simply moved our weird flatbed couch when i was little. it felt like such an ending for our family, for my childhood, and in some ways it was. i just recently i came across a picture of it, of him and me looking different directions - one i've never seen before. i was so little...
how terribly long and terribly short it all is.
i'm trying to love change and not fight it anymore - it's a bit easier now that everything has changed and I realize I simply can't go home again.
i'm glad to hear you still have your parents. Are they in town?
now..more rain, please!
Hello? Must have been some date to have given up blogging so suddenly.
I know. I can be a stinker. :)
yeah, well. I almost wrote an entry today entitled "nothing to say" and then I believed myself completely and went on to kick some transcontinental scrabble ass.
(and I thought you weren't on facebook anyway...)
i'll endeavor to have a thought soon but can't promise. if anything can happen, so can nothing i supposy.
i start work tomorrow. (byebye vacation!)
i hope all my students don't just stare at me like i'm some kindof freak from the past.
i hate that.
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